當我離開房間後,峰哥裝模作樣的邀請幾位室友(我的舞團同伴)進行了一場魔獸信長
                                                                               
場子進行到一半的時候,峰哥突然節節落敗,並頻頻抱怨網路的不順暢、以及對方疑似開
圖的行為
                                                                               
眾友人都覺得今天的峰哥一點也不峰哥了,似乎失去了往日的平靜(事後推測,應該是急
著嘗試KY的美好)
                                                                               
突然間,峰哥離開了魔獸,說道:
                                                                               
峰哥:幹~我斷線了,你們加油吧,殺爆織田軍。
                                                                               
室友A:靠,少了你差很多耶~~
                                                                               
峰哥:沒關係,平常心就好。我去看我的影片了~~新抓的 A_A
                                                                               
眾室友知道峰哥的習慣和意思,於是也就很有默契的不轉頭看峰哥在做啥
                                                                               
10幾分鐘後,峰哥開口了
                                                                               
峰哥:我去上廁所,加油~殺爆織田軍

其實,大家心裡都在想,峰哥是箭在弦上,不得不發了
                                                                               
又過了幾分鐘~峰哥出來了...面有喜色
                                                                               
峰哥:幹~潤滑液真的很屌,搓起來溫溫的,一下就出來了,五告爽啦!
                                                                               
室友B:溫溫的? 哪會
                                                                               
峰哥:真的呀,我現在還有溫熱的感覺捏。
                                                                               
室友B:屁啦,過太爽喔,哪有可能呀。用起來根本沒感覺呀~
                                                                               
室友C:嘿呀,正常來說,只有潤滑效果吧。
                                                                               
----這時候,室友B正在打電話給我,詢問酸痛軟膏的事----
                                                                               
峰哥:甘安捏?我覺得我的雞雞有點過熱捏?(臉色開始不對了)
                                                                               
室友C:我看你是不夠爽吧,再進去弄一發。
                                                                               
峰哥:不不不不,我覺得不太對..現在有很火熱的感覺。

峰哥:幹,好像有點燒捏。(斗大的汗珠開始冒出額頭)
                                                                               
室友ABC:面面相覷..會不會是你皮膚不習慣,過敏?
                                                                               
峰哥:喂,那個..有沒有人可以去樓下7-11幫我買一袋冰塊。
                                                                               
室友A:我去吧,順便買個飲料。
                                                                               
室友B:阿峰,你要冰雞雞喔...(忍笑)
                                                                               
峰哥:嘿啦,我要冰雞雞啦 (語氣開始有點不耐)
                                                                               
接下來,寢室開始陷入沉寂,只有峰哥一個人呻吟的聲音
                                                                               
峰哥:屋..五告修啦..五告修啦。哇ㄟXX五告修啦。(台語發音)
                                                                               
峰哥:哇ㄟ冰角那啊美鄧來啦...幹...五告修啦。(台語發音)
                                                                               
室友BC:(拼了命忍笑)
                                                                               
室友C:你要不要去浴室用水沖一下先

峰哥:(臉色鐵青的點了點頭)
                                                                               
(這時候,我不得不說明一下,那條軟膏是運動用的,防水解..所以也不太容易沖掉。讚
!!! 好用!!!)
                                                                               
接下來,浴室傳出了峰哥的呻吟聲
                                                                               
峰哥:屋..五告修啦..五告修啦。哇ㄟXX五告修啦。(台語發音)
                                                                               
峰哥:哇ㄟ冰角那啊美鄧來啦...幹...五告修啦。(台語發音)
                                                                               
這時候,室友A回來了,提著兩袋衛生冰塊和4杯飲料回來。
                                                                               
峰哥聽到室友A回來,馬上從廁所伸出手來,要了一袋冰塊進去
                                                                               
接著,更淒厲的叫聲出來了~~
                                                                               
峰哥:幹~~~~(據室友的說話是,這時候的吼叫聲開始有點娘氣,或許是太冷了吧)
                                                                               
峰哥:屋..五告拎啦..五告拎啦。哇ㄟXX要縮起來了。(台語發音)
峰哥:屋..五告拎啦..五告拎啦。哇ㄟXX要縮起來了。(台語發音)
峰哥:屋..五告拎啦..五告拎啦。哇ㄟXX要縮起來了。(台語發音)
峰哥:屋..五告拎啦..五告拎啦。哇ㄟXX要縮起來了。(台語發音)
                                                                               
這時候浴室外的三個人已經笑到不行了,附帶一提,當天寒流來,台南大約10~12度而已
                                                                               
突然間,浴室門開了~
                                                                               
三位室友迫不及待的往浴室門口擠,想看看峰哥的情形
                                                                               
當時的畫面是,峰哥用M字腿的姿勢跪坐著,下面放著裝滿冰塊和水的面盆
                                                                               
努力的在不浸到屁股的情形下,把可憐的雞雞泡在冰水裡退燒
                                                                               
看到三個明顯忍笑的室友出現在浴室門口,峰哥開口了.....
                                                                               
峰哥虛弱的說:可以帶我去醫院嗎?我想要砍雞雞了...
(嘴脣失去了原有的血色,但臉卻因為努力的半蹲,而漲紅著)
                                                                               
這時候,也就是我接到室友B第二通電話的時候了...
                                                                               
再來的情形,就是上一篇提到的...
                                                                               
峰哥手護私處、伴隨著盪氣迴腸的吼叫聲被兩位同學抬著上了我的車~~

這件事就到此為止啦~謝謝大家的觀看
                                                                               
後記:
後來,我對那條躺在浴室裡的軟膏有了疙瘩...就再也沒有用了
半年前的同學會,峰哥回憶起這件事,還自己爆了個料
那就是...
                                                                               
峰哥:靠! 我現在聞到撒攏巴斯的味道,都會倒陽啦,媽的!

 

 

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nmnmnm

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  • mydaria
  • 老師 KY是什摩?(筆記)
  • 其實 文中有清楚的教導了我們

    峰哥:幹~潤滑液真的很屌,

    所以 它是潤滑液

    nmnmnm 於 2008/12/22 21:24 回覆

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